An estimated 95 million people watched, perhaps, the best Super Bowl ever. Too bad the commercials going for more than $3 million a 30-second spot weren't nearly as entertaining as the game. Maybe there's some kind of weird alchemy at play where the more competitive the game is the more the ads come up short.

Yes, there were a few exceptions -- the fighting giant Underdog and Stewie balloons fighting over the inflated Coke with Charlie Brown ultimately winning was sweet and the Bud Light Will Ferrell spot made me laugh -- but most of those costly showcase spots were either dull, gross or both.

After watching creepy dancing lizards {ETrade}, a pulsating heart with a mind of its own {Careerbuilder.com} and a pinhead used car salesman {Cars.com}, among others, I was beyond disgusted at how much cash had been spent on so much that was so bad.

Not only do I suggest a boycott of all those companies, but Planters for its nut ugly cashew woman commercial and Amp Energy Drink for subjected us to that fat guy with the clamps from the batter charger cables attached to his nipples -- that one made you long for the days of Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction.